I put together a scrapbook and had it available for people to look at for Savannah Rose's memorial. It was the inspiration for the book, Right Where I Belong, which is available here on the website. These are scaled down images of some of the actual pages from the book.

My son, Terran created the tooled leather cover for Savannah's book.
My son, Jeremi marbled the paper that I used for the end papers.
My son, Micha spent hours watching his sister, Emilie so that I could finish the book.
Without them, this would not have been possible.



Photo of Savannah Rose
In the original scrapbook, I cut away and glued some of the pages together to create an indentation in which I wrote Savannah's name and the date she was born still. And glued in some pretty beads.



I can't really tell Savannah's story without first telling Tori' s and Sarah's and Stephen's. For the journey really begins there - a journey of pain, yes, but much more of learning and growing in the Lord, of seeing His hand and loving His ways



This was originally a blog post from February 12, 2009 entitled "One Of My Favorite Things:

In addition to our 8 special blessings here in our home on earth, we have three special blessings waiting for us in our mansion in heaven.
Victoria Ruthanne (Tori) born into heaven July '00
Sarah Morganne Laine born into heaven Mar '01
Stephen Matthias born into heaven May '03
One night in 2001, after I'd lost the first two children, the Lord gave me a dream in which I was able to go for a visit to that mansion the Lord is preparing for me in heaven. I don't know how biblically accurate it was, but I believe it was given for my comfort. It was a beautiful house. I love to plan out dream houses, plotting floorplans on graph paper. This house was all of those dream houses and then some. My Gramma was there. She went to be with the Lord in 97, the same year my Lissa was born, the day after her 80th birthday. She was a mentor to me especially in sewing and I've often wished she'd lived to see where the Lord has taken my sewing through Daddy's Little Princess. I think she'd be thrilled. In my dream she helped me sew for DLP. Wouldn't that be awesome to really be able to do that in heaven someday? Best of all, all my children were there. I got to hold and nurse baby Sarah and snuggle up with her in a comfy chair. I got to listen to little Tori reading to me out of the Dick and Jane reader. One scene that stayed especially clear to me was in the kitchen. Gramma was sitting in my antique rocking chair, the light spilling in the french doors to the garden behind her. In her lap was a bowl of apples she was peeling as she planned to bake an apple pie with Tori - the same way she'd baked with me so often when I was little. Gramma looked just like she had when I was little - dark hair, pretty face, always wearing her apron. In my dream, little Tori leaned up against Gramma eating one of the apples, asking if she could help. It brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful.
I don't think I told anyone about the dream then - not even my husband, so it was with wonderfully surprised and happy tears that my dear husband confirmed God's comfort to me not long after on our anniversary, when he brought in a beautiful art print to hang on the wall.

The print is by Loren Entz and it's called Apple of Her Eye.
Isn't God Amazing!
It now hangs in a very special place in our livingroom.
To me, it will always be a picture of Gramma and Tori making an apple pie in our mansion in heaven!

 Here is a song I wrote a few years back, thinking of the babies we'd lost through miscarriage.
Little One I pray it might be a blessing to you or someone you know.


As a Lutheran who believes in the efficacy of infant baptism, my biggest concern was the salvation of a baby who died before having the opportunity to be baptized. Pastor Sturm was not very helpful, but I prayed to God to show me in His Word what was true. I couldn't just believe it because I wanted it to be true, I had to know God said so.
That day in my Bible reading, was when God first gave me Psalm 22:10 - 'From my mother's womb, You have been my God.' We know that babies can hear while still in the womb. How many times have I felt a little one within me react to a noise or to music. God's Word says that faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. Knowing that our babies heard God's Word while still inside me, I felt God's comforting confirmation that even an unborn child could be gifted with God's saving grace


As I grieved for those little ones - barely there and then taken away - I was learning that just because I'd always wanted a big family, that didn't mean I was relying on the Lord to open and close the womb.
He had to teach me to say
WHATEVER, LORD!
I will trust You
I will love You
I will serve You
whatever Your plans for me might be

'For I know the plans I have towards you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future.'



Over the years, the two attributes of God that have given me the most comfort, peace, and joy - that have knit together my heart with my Lord's

Are that of His Sovereignty
God is in control of every detail of our lives, and nothing comes to us except that which He has allowed.

Mixed with His Incredible Love
He loves us so very much! And He promises that All things will be worked out for our good, coming together, woven into the wonderful, beautiful tapestry of His plan for our lives



And then six years later,
after God gave us Amanda Grace and Emilie Lynnette to hold in our arms and raise in our home -
after I thought I had learned the lesson of whatever and I thought the time of losing babies was over ~

God gave us Savannah Rose.